Tits

Most of you won't remember this but in an episode of Mork and Mindy back in the day, there was a character called Arnold Wanker. Genuinely. They really had no idea and you can find the clip on YouTube if you look hard enough. As I have. It's hilarious. Well, to men mainly.
All blokes have this - that moment when the missus looks at you and either says (or just thinks in that really obvious way) "Oh for goodness sake, just grow up."
Come on, we all do it. For me it's when the TV announcer says 'the following programme contains bad language and scenes of a sexual nature' and I immediately go 'woo hoo' in a Homeresque manner.
She gives me evils or just rolls her eyes.
I'm afraid all these birdwatching programmes on BBC3 are another example. She's watching it with the kids and every time Bill Oddie or David Attenborough mentions cocks, tits, bustards and - my particular favourite - the chough, I naturally snigger like Finbar Saunders.
It's a reminder of the day your class is introduced to a new teacher called Mr Willey or Mrs Balls or whatever.
Personally, I think it's a sad day when this is something you grow out of. My wife may disagree but she's not a bloke.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
There's several natural reactions to seeing groups of young middle class people throwing chairs through the windows of Tory HQ. The first, of course, is indignation and anger and a stiff letter to the Daily Mail that these layabouts can do this. Another is 'go on my son' at the realisation that direct action is the only thing that works sometimes. And for those of us who were of a similar age in the years immediately after Mrs Thatcher came to power, I guess it's a feeling of nostalgia. Mind you, at least we had The Jam playing off the back of a lorry when we went on a demo.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Talking of blokes, that Dino de Laurentiis. Died at 91 but what a life. Sold spaghetti as a youngster, like all good Italian stereotypes must if they are to be famous one day. Made really arty films with Fellini which won him an Oscar. Went to Hollywood and made, among other things, the wonderful Barbarella which was responsible for more sprained wrists than Swingball.
He was also behind an awful remake of King Kong but still better than Jack Black's version, and the classic, Mandingo, a film so bad it's wonderful. Oh yeah, and Hannibal. And even Evil Dead II, which is almost as good a sequel as Weekend At Bernie's II. So truly great and truly shite movies, all in the same career.
 Mind you Nora Ephron wrote the brilliant Silkwood but the woeful You've Got Mail, so everyone's flawed.
 Apparently Dino invented a hovercraft used in Dr Who (with Jon Pertwee) and came up with the idea for Come Dine With Me but I rather suspect that a practical joker has added these two 'facts' to Wikipedia after hearing of the great man's death and is now waiting to see which newspapers reprint them (Independent I'd bet, they usually do).
He was definitely 5' 4". Which may be why he overcompensated.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I notice the electrical store group RGB are now expanding beyond their normal Ilford/Loughton catchment area to advertise in Holborn Underground station.
We all have personal favourites when it comes to goods and services. I guess the acid test is not the quality of the goods or the service but how they react when something goes wrong.
 On that basis my humble advice is that you should not buy anything at all from RGB. Ever. Nor Sainsbury's Insurance for that matter. If you ever see me, I'd be more than happy to explain why.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Not one, not two but THREE gratuitous mentions of Kim Kardashian in the Mail Online today. The rightful order of the universe has been restored. Just so you know, Carol Vorderman looks a bit like her, she was pictured near my old mate Piers Morgan and she's advertising a bikini.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Phil Woolas has reappeared as my Facebook friend almost as mysteriously as he disappeared. I thought it was something I said. But I think it is more likely it was something he said.
Ciao....Solly