Monday 8 November 2010

Huhne do you think you are kidding, Mr Speaker?

Now here's the thing...if we made every MP who lied during the election give up their seat, how many by-elections would we have coming up? I mean, Chris Huhne was portrayed as a family man in his campaign (or so his wife says), then a month later he left her after having an affair.
 And every Lib Dem stood on a platform of abolishing tuition fees but have just voted to treble them. It's not just Liberals, it's all of them.
 Bizarrely I've discovered a distant family connection to Elwyn Watkins, the Lib Dem defeated by Phil 'Woolyback' Woolas in the election. He's some kind of cousin to my eldest daughter's step father.
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What's all the fuss about whether or not Rupert Murdoch owns 40 per cent of BSkyB or all of it? I bet most of you thought he owned it anyway. Does anyone think things will change if he buys the rest of it? I don't.
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The difference between a sport and a game is whether or not you can smoke a cigarette while doing it without affecting your performance.
 Hence, fishing is a game but rugby is a sport, even if, in England at least, it's obviously for latent homosexual men (tight shirts, shaved heads, fun in the showers - you boys know what I mean).
 If you've got a better definition, tell me and help settle a pub argument.
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Someone in Belgium is reading my blog, according to that stats page they send out. No idea who. Must be someone who likes waffle.
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Off to The Comedy Store tonight to see my old mate John Maloney plus others including Stephen K.Amos in a charity gig. If there's any good oneliners I'll nick the best one and stick it into tomorrow's blog, claiming it as my own (of course not, I'll credit Bob Monkhouse as I always do.)
I heard a silly one last night about what to do if you get hurt by someone's rhythm stick. Just log on to http://www.iandurylawyers4you.com/
And with that I'm off to Piccadilly for a proper laugh....Solly

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