From dodgy Barnet to honest Tottenham

The mighty Tottenham Hotspur have appointed a 'PR Guru' to help win the hearts and minds of anyone who doubts that the North London giants should move to the Olympic Stadium. But what is a PR Guru?
Well, there's several ways to spot one. They have a massive sense of self importance but can poke fun at themselves, they've been around for a few years, can tell wonderful anecdotes with frequent name dropping but, most importantly of all, they have to have a ridiculous barnet.
 Spurs have appointed Mike Lee, a sports specialist with a thatched top worthy of Shakespeare's original home in Stratford with wispy bits falling over his brow. He's very definitely a PR Guru. Talking of Thatch, have you ever seen the strangely coiffured Lord Bell, formerly Mrs T's PR man who has tightly wrinkled silver curls at the back of his regal head.
Then there's Mark Borkowski, a wonderful man and close personal friend (that's what we say in PR circles) and there's a link to his fab blog alongside this one. He is famously referred to as a floppy haired PR maestro and has a wonderfully vainglorious crop.
But best of all, did you ever wonder what happened to his white cat after Blofeld was killed by James Bond? Simples. It went and found a new home atop of Max Clifford, possibly the PR Guru's PR Guru. From one pussy loving evil genius to...er, a litigious PR masterminded who does a lot of good work for charity but doesn't like to talk about it.
So to Andrew Bloch, Nick Hewer, Messers Band and Brown, Trevor Morris (now he's got a sensible haircut) and all the others. If you want to make the leap from Aston Martin owning public relations bigwig to a true PR Guru, then don't concentrate on the fancy offices and famous clients, get yourself a dodgy barnet.
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Working in South London is proving to have its benefits. So far we've checked out gastropub The Garrison (chicken sandwich and chips for a tenner) and, by contrast, The Horseshoe Inn, nestling betwixt Guinness Trust buildings, low rise council blocks, the out-of-place Bermondsey Village Hall and the magnificent Shard. For those with a fondness for this sort of thing, it sells both Pride and Jennings, satisfying both Londoners and Northerners at the same time.
Tomorrow we may well try The Woolpack and The Leather Exchange (a Fullers pub) before going a bit upmarket and trendy for The Tunnel Bar and The Hide which looks like it has something to do with the Wine and Spirits Association.
Kudos to the enterprising curry house owner in Tooley Street who has renamed his establishment The Shard rather than something corny like King Curry or the Taj Mahal.
But whether or not I'll ever get used to the sight of co-workers wearing black leather hotpants to the office is another thing. I've had a word with him and he says he won't do it again.
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Apparently a vulture tagged by the University of Tel Aviv flew into Saudi Arabia where it has been arrested on suspicion of being a Mossad spy. You expect me to talk Goldfinger? No, I expect you to fly.
The story is so funny that I hope it runs and runs. Perhaps they will adminster Saudi-style justice and chop its wings off. Or stone it to death and leave it out for good old Saudi vultures to pick out the bones.
Last month the Egyptians said the shark that was eating people may have been acting under instructions from the Israeli government. A gefilter fish or smoked salmon I could understand but a shark?
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I'd like to thank Mike of iTunes, not just for helping me out over having some thieving git nick credit from my account but for ending his messages with 'thank you for being the best part of iTunes.'
He's in America of course. It just wouldn't work if he wasn't.
So thank you, all of you out there, particularly whoever it is in Slovenia who is reading this blog, for being the best part of Solly Blog....Solly