A nice drop of claret

Old Etonian Prince William - or are they now the Duke and Duchess of Anorexia - says he supports Aston Villa. So does Nigel Kennedy, who used to be posh but then discovered a strange Mockney accent hidden in an old violin case. And now David Cameron, another Old Etonian, says he, too, supports Aston Villa. Must be as a result of growing up in the slums of Lozells. I've no idea why so many toffs support the Villa. Though it's the only time Cameron said yes to AV.
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Sometimes the best arguments are the funny ones, the trivial ones, the meaningless ones. Not the big ones about whether or not there's a God or which political system is the better. They are pointless in some ways because you have set views and the person you are arguing with has the opposite view and neither or you will ever change your mind no matter what.
The ones that get you most worked up are the ones where there is no right or wrong. I say The Sopranos is better than The Wire. Both are great, but I'm right. What? You have ten reasons why The Wire is better? Bring it on. Nope, you're still wrong. It's the second best US drama ever.
Spurs are better than Arsenal. I know Arsenal consistently finish higher in the league than Spurs, have won more cups and leagues and so on, but I also know Spurs are better. They were first to win a double, the first to win a European competition, the first to sign Argentinians, sell bagels in the West Stand, we were in North London before them and generally we are a lot nicer. And better looking. So end of.
Last week a number of people on a Facebook page claimed they remember Valentines Park in Redbridge having red squirrels living wild. I practically grew up in that park and there were grey squirrels, hunting in packs, but no red ones. I'm 100 per cent certain. No matter how many people claim they remember the red ones. I can't say why they think what they think. Senility? Wishful thinking?
Strangely, this isn't my first pointless argument about red squirrels. Not strange you say? Oh.
Everyone knows about red squirrels. Prince Charles likes them. They live in Scotland, bits of northern England (that are near Scotland) and the Isle of Wight. And nowhere else. And it's been that way for hundreds of years. The North American grey squirrel has driven the fluffy red ones to the brink of extinction. The grey ones have a disease that doesn't affect them but does kill the red ones.
However, a couple of years ago my wife swears categorically that a red squirrel ran out in front of her on the M25 slip road in Waltham Abbey. She told me about it and I got on the Essex Conservation Trust.
Naturally I believed my wife. No, really. She's an intelligent woman. She's got qualifications - a degree and some NLP diploma from the University of West Norwood I think. And she does this really complicated and well paid job loosely connected to internal comms, she tells me. But despite that, she really is quite bright so if she says she saw a red squirrel, in Essex, on a motorway slip road, then she did.
Oh no she didn't, said the ECT. She couldn't have. There's no red squirrels in Essex. Or any of the counties that join Essex. Or the ones that join the ones that join Essex. Perhaps it was a grey one with lots of red.
No, I said, this looked like the one from the Tufty Club. Could it have escaped from a zoo or private collection, I said. No, he said, it definitely wasn't a red squirrel.
And so it went on.
It will never be proved that my wife was wrong. And somehow I suspect it will never be proved she was right either. But I know who I'd rather believe.
And Spurs are better than Arsenal.
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My football team has a large Jewish support. It also has a player called Danny Rose. So naturally I have started to refer to him as 'Broadway.'
You wouldn't believe the number of humourless sods there are at football matches these days who have no idea of the works of Woody Allen and think I'm just being odd.
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This is my 100th blog. I've found it really cathartic doing this. I've had some nice comments and some shitty ones. Some posts have been read by a couple of hundred people, some have had less than 50. But I'm just grateful, truly, that anyone bothers to read my ramblings on such an eclectic bunch of topics including, I've been told, a number of obsessions that I wasn't aware of such.
These include Ilford, Piers Morgan, annoying adverts, Spurs, my aversion to thin people, journalists, Ilford, dog walking, Jews, Stoke, The Smiths, atheism, class and, of course, Ilford. But hey, write what you know Solly, write what you know.
So I'm sorry if I occasionally repeat myself. I'm sorry if I occasionally offend - I'm not trying to be Frankie Boyle.
But thank you so very much for popping in to read occasionally. And please contact me with any comments. There is room for comment below. I'm not hard to find on Facebook and I won't be upset if you want to criticise.
Thanks again...love Solly