On top of old Stokie

Bloody Charlie Brooker. Generally I quite like the guy's column. Bit rude, a little bit obsessed with wanking but often quite funny in the way he pokes fun at people not as clever as himself. Oh how we laugh.
But now he's having a go at my 'homies' - you know, tabloid hacks.
I won't go into it in detail, you can find the Guardian and read it yourself but Charlie reckons tabloid journalists make the world a worse place and it's caused a bit of a furore.
You see, Charlie is one of those journalists who's never broken a story, never subbed a story, probably never written a story and when he gets together with all his new celebrity friends and celebrity missus, they probably imagine that all tabloids do is stories on D-listers who aren't as famous as him and David Mitchell.
Never mind that The Guardian, like the BBC, is jam packed with stories that were in the tabloids a day earlier.
Never mind the fact that many of the reporters and subs on the broadsheets cut their teeth on tabloids - in many cases they couldn't cut it which is why they left, to be frank.
Never mind that The Guardian still carries stories on X Factor and footballers misbehaving but then likes to look down its nose at the tabs who carry the same stories.
But most of all, never mind that millions of people, predominantly working class, buy the tabloids because they find something in there - whether it's bingo or Bushell, sports or their stars.
And that's the worst part of all this, in my opinion. The sneering middle class holier than thou snobbery at people who don't go to the same kind of dinner parties as Charlie and Konnie.
Charlie started to backtrack a bit when he realised that he'd upset some of his own Guardian fellow columnists like Suzanne Moore and others (one told him to get off his 'high cock') but it's too late.
A couple of weeks ago he wrote a column bemoaning how Twitter and Facebook and blogs had made so many people nasty and vindictive and opinionated.
Now he has confirmed his place at the top table of the pompous, liberal elite who want to tell the rest of us what to watch, what to read, how to vote and without realising it, has become all Daily Maily.
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When Stoke City won the League Cup in 1972 the regulars, and us as nippers, did up my gran's pub in red and white. She ran the Red Lion in Cotes Heath, Staffs. In fact she ran it for a staggering 49 years and was, when she retired, the longest serving landlord/landlady in the Midlands.
Back then The Potteries produced proper commemorative mugs as you'd expect them to - not those thin Taiwanese porcelain that you get these days - and for the final, the whole population of the five towns, it seemed, made their way to London where Stoke beat Chelsea 2-1.
In the weeks that followed, the one and only Terry Conroy came into to the village and I got his autograph. Those were the days when the Potteries had their own language. And industry.
Stoke had never been in a final before and haven't been since until now. Although playing the semi final at Wembley demeans the FA in ways that they will never understand, to be in their first FA Cup Final ever is a marvellous, marvellous achievement for any club.
For Man City too it's a proud moment. I was there the last time they were in an FA Cup Final, back in 1981 but not to see them, of course.
I'd like to wish them both luck but of course I can't, so come on City!
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Essex went to the marathon yesterday (when do we start to call it Snickers). Our little charity had ten runners taking part. Unfortunately one collapsed halfway and another, her dad, had to go with her to the hospital. We wish them well.
The rest did it in style and raised a handy sum for The Lauren Page Trust.
My involvement, as always, was hiring a pub for our lot near the river so we set up camp in The Savoy Tup, an overlooked little boozer just off The Strand.
The landlord and landlary did us proud, we laid out food and you could tell when our supporters turned up because the girls had come straight from the nail bar and one was wearing a baby pink playsuit and gold heels.
The runners at least wore the proper clothing but not even all that sweat could make their fake tan run.
Watching the runners take part was impressive. One bloke has a bloody washing machine strapped to his back. That's just showing off.
There is a certain amount of 'look at me' and I still get the impression a lot of people like to make sure everyone knows how wonderful they are. But others are genuinely committed to the cause and the run really is a challenge.
I mean, James Cracknell doing the marathon is not really a challenge, he could do one a day. And if it was just for charity then he has enough money to simply donate it and not bother walking to the Artic or whatever.
But for my mate Matt running it for Diabetes UK, because his two daughters have been injecting themselves with insulin since they could walk, or those who do it for our charity because they've experienced the loss of a baby born prematurely, when running 26 miles is well outside your comfort zone, I salute you.
There's also this strange kind of groupie you get at the Marathon. People who are there just to cheer on complete strangers, recognising them by the name on their vest. So people shout 'come on Jerry' or 'don't give up Samantha' and, you know what, the runners really appreciate it.
I find it odd but also, somehow, one of those quirks that show the British in a generous light. It made me almost lose my cynicism.
As for the BBC coverage. All very good but for God's sake get rid of Denise Lewis - she sounds like Minnie Mouse on acid.
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I've found out the name of the 'world famous' actor who has taken out the super injunction. And I had the same reaction as everyone else, which is 'who?' But the footballer...wow!
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Whatever happend to Val Doonican? The only superstar to shy away from having a personalised number plate.
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With all that goes on in Libya and the Ivory Coast and so on, it makes you realise how democratic Britain is. Not only do we actually get a chance to vote for who we want or not to vote at all if we don't want to in free and democratic elections, we now get a chance to vote for which free and democratic system we want for our free and democratic elections. Try telling that to someone in Saudi Arabia. It's brilliant...no really.
Ballots to the lot of you....cheers, Solly