Actually it's the spit of a guy called David Burner who co-runs a press agency called Caters. He also owns the copyright to the picture and kindly gave me permission to use it.
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So we had April Fool stories earlier this week. Since then Metro has run a story about a woman who dresses a kangaroo up in child's clothes (a story which, in the US, was presented as an animal cruelty case) and a man and son whose feet face the wrong way. I'm sure they are playing a joke on us all, every day.
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Later this week I will be attending, as owner of a news agency, the annual NAPA award ceremony - which is the National Association of Press Agencies rather than the Californian wine region (though one suspects both are basically just excuses to have a piss up).
The conversation will inevitably turn to how poorly we get paid by papers and a bit of backstabbing of those within our profession who are doing well. Though not for me. I know it sounds a bit righteous but I always feel a sense of pride when I see another journalist succeed. The NAPA awards have been presented by old hacks-done-good. Last year was Michael Parkinson, for instance and both Kelvin Mackenzie and Derek Jameson have done the honours too. This year it's Greg Dyke. Both Alastair Campbell and Piers Morgan have express an interest in doing it in the future if commitments allow and other alumni of the school of press agencies/local papers include everyone from Mark Knopfler to Nick Ferrari.
It seems strange to be charitable in an industry where this is not the most helpful of qualities but life's too short to get gnarled by jealousy. And if you are in a tight knit profession, it is much more positive to hope everyone does well rather than everyone does badly.
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Is it just me or did Boardwalk Empire turn out to be the biggest anti-climax since I went to see the film of Naked Lunch and found out it wasn't what I'd hoped it would be?
I mean, with Steve Buscemi starring, Scorcese directing at least one episode, and a plot involving gangsters, violence and sex, what could go wrong? Well, I think the fact that the ingredients are all a bit predictable is one. Then there is the fact that the same channel - Sky Atlantic - is repeating The Sopranos from the beginning and suddenly you realise that Boardwalk doesn't have anywhere near the same depth of characters, storylines, humour and pathos or The Sopranos. It simply can't live up to the original and seeing the two just days apart makes you realise how much better one is than the other. It's a shame. Like many, I really, really, wanted to love Boardwalk Empire. I'm still watching it in the hope it's a slow burner but I am fast beginning to think it is never going to ignite.
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I'm too depressed to comment about football but at least I know how it must have feel to have been an Arsenal fan in Europe for the last 14 years. It doesn't help knowing Ray 'Butch' Wilkins has suddenly become a Spurs fan, talking about the team as 'we' and tripping over his words more than he ever tripped over a football. Blimey, with him and Jamie Redknapp and Glenn Hoddle doing the 'expert' analysis, it was a bad night for the English language as well as English football.
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The Sky series Spartacus. It's hilarious. No, really. Why hasn't anyone told me about this before? It's one of the funniest, hammiest, ludicrous, sweariest things I've ever seen. A real pick me up after the footie.
And there's me with the first names Mark Antony as well.
Thanks for lending me your ears...I salute you...Solly
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