Polarised Opinions

I think of myself as pretty up to speed on a lot of foreign affairs, or at least able to tap dance through any conversation that isn't too detailed.
But obviously not. My South African next door neighbour was waving goodbye to her friend, who I've met, and looked upset. 'What's up?' I asked, 'Oh she's got to go back to Sith Ifrikker and she's quite emotional. She's worried about Malema.' 'Poor thing,' I confided, 'Which one was he at the party the other week?'
'He's the South African politician who's trying to kick the whites out' she replied.
'I know, I was only joking' I lied.
--------------------------------------------------------------
I don't think there is anyone I know who hasn't lost someone through cancer. It's common to talk about heroes and fighters but I always felt the bravery was in the spirit shown rather than the fight itself. My mum died of cancer after getting it twice, I lost a friend called Kevin earlier this year and, like you, there have been others both close and not so close who have either succumbed or beaten it.
But I think the most prosaic and wisest description that I've ever heard about having cancer comes from Danny Baker - admittedly a hero of mine - who has gotten over his first dice with the disease.
He made the point that he was merely a battleground, a Normandy beach on which the war was fought but not by him, by science and medicine and doctors. He simply staged the battle and let others fight it on his behalf. Pleasingly he didn't mention God, another reason why I like him.
It was an argument he made again on Desert Island Discs last week, among a myriad other quotable lines which he comes out with, without fuss, without fanfare and with a great deal of candour and honesty.
Welcome back to the wireless Candyman.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Terribly sad to hear a polar bear had killed a British tourist.
But the obvious tragedy isn't enough to stop the blame game in that new courtroom of public opinion - the reader's comments in online newspapers.
The Daily Mail is the world leader for this kind of thing and, of course, it was quick to point the finger at environmentalists, those bleeding heart do gooders who want to protect polar bears by falsely claiming that the ice caps are melting. Ha! That'll teach 'em. Jeremy Clarkson was right, kill the white fluffy bastards. If the tree huggers weren't lying about global warming, this would never have happened.
The Sun was a bit confused. There was some concern at to what happened to the bear, another claiming people aren't scared of them because they're white (no, I wasn't sure about that one either) and that if you go watching polar bears, don't be surprised if they kill you. Which is the old 'if you lie down with dogs you wake up with fleas' argument.
The Telegraph tended to be more on the lines of what one should do if attacked by a polar bear, based on advice dating back to Victorian explorers, some of whom still read the paper. My advice is, make sure you are a faster runner than at least one other person in your group which is why I always go on holiday with someone with a broken leg.
Didn't bother looking at The Times as it's behind a paywall and isn't worth the money, the Mirror didn't seem to invite reader comments, nor The Guardian while, by 1pm, there was no sign of the story on the Express website.
No doubt the Star is claiming that the bear will feature on the new series of Big Brother along with Pamela Anderson, the blonde bombshell wife of the Speaker of the House of Commons, Bill Haley and his Comets, the Dalai Lama and anyone else you've ever heard of, alive or dead.
---------------------------------------------------
It's clearly the new Essex chav's uniform - very narrow leg trousers, pointed shoes and a white or light blue shirt. Now being worn by defendants at Redbridge Magistrates Court and coming soon to a judicial centre near you.
Police attempts to clear the streets of male cast members from The Only Way Is Essex by locking them all up is clearly failing judging by the recent case involving Mark Wright, Jack Tweed and his brother whose name is unimportant but has that greased down side parting haircut that sets him apart from normally intelligent men of his age.
However all is not lost. Apparently Mark and Amy and others in TOWIE are threatening to quit the series and, as we all know, it will be completely rubbish without them in it!
Blog adjourned....Solly