The Bourne Street conspiracy

When Ryan Giggs said he was a family man, he wasn't wrong was he?
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The Mail complains about risque dancing on X Factor using photos supplied by ITV but not actually screen grabs of the show itself (in other words, here's what you didn't see on screen, folks, isn't it disgusting?).
I read the Mail's story about bringing back a proper watershed. It was around 1.30pm and on its website alongside photos of Kim Kardashian showing off her bum, Lady GaGa wearing a see through top, several pictures of TOWIE cast members in low cut dresses with headlines like 'how does it stay up?' and various bikini snatch shots of D-list stars on their holidays.
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Talking of TOWIE; my daughter, born in Harlow but who now lives in the wilds of Gloucestershire with her mother and hopes to study physics at university and is very sensible, decided to take a break from revising for A Levels to go to a nightclub in Cheltenham. Why? Because Jack Tweed and some bloke called Mark Wright who, apparently, is a bit of alright, were making a special appearance. You can take the girl out of Essex...
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If you look at the most successful movies during a normal week (ie: not just before the Oscars) it makes depressing reading. All those lame Hangover fratpack buddy buddy crapfests, or romcom vehicles for former sitcom stars trying desperately to make it on the big screen, tend to top the lists.
Have we really become so anodyne in our tastes that this kind of mind-numbing junk can separate us from our hard-earned. Seriously, I've heard of adults going to watch some of these films.
And the titles? They are often so meaningless. In fact, according to top secret screenwriting documents seen by The Solly Blog, the next batch have not bothered making up new ones and taken our favourite advertising slogans and made them into films. Here's a selection:
*Every Little Helps - Paul Rudd and Seann William Scott run a cosmetic surgery clinic where they take their pick of the artificially enhanced women to live life to the full until they both fall in love with a local, and totally natural, waitress. Warning: Features lots of nudity and childish jokes about penis enlargements.
*I'm Lovin' It - Matthew Vaughan and Owen Wilson are rival nightclub owners in 1970s New York who both fall in love with the same roller disco dancer with hilarious results. Warning: Loads of 70s cultural references and in-jokes and stars disco dancing.
*Just Do It - Mild mannered bank clerk Jim Carrey is being hypnotised to become more self-assertive when the hypnotist drops dead halfway through the session. Carrey finds his newfound confidence has made him a completely different person with hilarious results. Warning: Jim Carrey gurning and over-acting and doing exactly what he does in almost every film he's ever made.
*Calm down dear - Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler play a warring couple who devise a series of games to see who gets the house in a messy divorce. With hilarious consequences. Warning: Features British actor doing lame US accent. And Jennifer Aniston flicking her hair.
*Simples - Jim Carrey, Matthew Vaughan, Paul Rudd, Seann William Scott, Owen Wilson, Adam Sandler and Ben Stiller play the inmates of a mental asylum. Warning: Lots of bad taste references to mental illnesses that will be quoted by your 12-year-old son for the next three months. Special guest: Jack Nicholson
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Welcome back to the Premiership, Martin Jol. And possibly to the only man with a stronger Dutch accent than Big Fat Martin, Shteve McClaren.
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I went to dinner at a very posh house in Bourne Street, Chelsea last night, owned by a business contact and friend. It is a different world, it really is. Pretty much everyone there - out of nine of us - had gone to a 'good' school such as Repton or St Paul's and most had come from money and, in a couple of cases, made squillions themselves from various ventures. One bloke started Petplan insurance for £250 and then sold it for £21 million (and that was just his share). And he had a part share in a horse which one the Derby a few years back. Blimey (or should I say 'cripes')
Chelsea is like a very well heeled ghetto. I reckon it has a greater proportion of people who don't work than the Chatsworth Estate but for very different reasons.
And the accents are amazing. I was told to meet at The Forks and Hinds which turned out to be the Fox and Hounds.
The talk was of hunting and polo at Hurlingham. I wanted to mention the Duke of Essex polo tournament round my way but I don't believe it's on the circuit. That's what comes of naming a polo cup after a pub rather than a real member of the aristocracy.
Still, I bet they don't get Rod Stewart, Bradley Walsh and Katie Price to their polo tournaments like we do.
Chars...Solly