Get it?

I don't want to vote for AV in the referendum because I now hate the Lib-Dems for their cowardly U-turn on tuition fees. But now I discover those right-wing lobbyists who pose as some kind of friend of the people, The Taxpayers Alliance, are behind the No2AV campaign and I couldn't possibly vote for something they agree with.
At this rate I'm going to have to have an opinion of my own! Wait, I wonder what my favourite newspaper/columnist/celebrity thinks I should do?
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Talking of columnists I am one of the few non right-wing people in Britain who actually quite likes Richard Littlejohn even though I don't often agree with him. I know I'm not supposed to and it's not just his connections to Ilford, Spurs and The Sun that swing it for me. I think he is wrong, for instance, in his column today where he suggests it's wrong to hold a minute's silence for Japan because of their war crimes. But he's right in that, as football fans, we do have too many 60-second silences before games. Soon it will be a compulsory part of every match.
And I completely agree with his observation that there is nothing quite as ridiculous as the sight of a bloke in a giant chicken costume bowing his head in silence in memory of tsunami victims at White Hart Lane last week before the West Ham game.
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There are things I don't get, as opposed to don't like. For instance, I'm not a fan of sailing but get why others would like it. Similarly for parascending and dangerous sports. I don't really get rugby union though I guess some people like to see fat posh men who might have a punch up at any second and I can see why people admire the way they haven't adopted football's more unsavoury habits like arguing with referees or pretending to be injured (except for the fake blood incident of course.) But league is so much better, surely?
I can sort of understand people who run marathons even though they don't realise it makes them look ten years older than they really are. And even cycling - those homo erotic outfits can be quite appealing to thin people.
But, like you, I have things I just don't get. Or at least I don't get why they are so popular. These include Adam Sandler, Phil Collins, 99 per cent of West End musical theatre, Lost, tribute bands, obsessive exercising, Miranda, prog rock, speedway, Crocs on men, decaf instant coffee, puffball skirts, Heat magazine, any car by Chrysler, owning Koi carp, Fred Bassett cartoons, street mime artists, the Welsh language, Katie Price, Sarah Sands column in the Evening Standard, the dipping sauce on Papa John pizzas (it's revolting and everyone I know thinks so), Vanessa Feltz, transubstantiation, Jamie Redknapp as a pundit and Rush.
And that's just for starters. It doesn't include things I don't like but at least can understand why others might such as peas, Coldplay, EastEnders, Sunday newspaper travel supplements, Arsenal, Range Rovers - oh, the list goes on and on and on, believe me.
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Trying to organise a night out with the boys up west on April 16th when we realised there is the all-Manchester semi final that day and then the Bolton-Stoke one the next, both at Wembley.
That's three sets of Northerners, plus Manchester United fans, all in the capital on the same night, doing what they always do on such occasions - moaning about how much a pint of bitter costs in central London, how miserable and impolite Cockneys are, how packed the tubes are and how many prostitutes there are in Soho. They've got a point, mind.
Then they'll take photos of themselves outside strip clubs, gawp at the lights in Piccadilly, shout suggestively at the hen parties going into Tiger Tiger and piss in the fountains of Trafalgar Square before they all strut around doing that funny Northern walk they do with their arms out and legs forward a la Liam Gallagher (don't think we haven't noticed!
Welcome to London lads. Leave it tidy.
Oi oi....Solly