Banger out of order

Why do we say VW as an abbreviation for Volkswagen when there are four syllables in the former and only three in the latter?

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This is why I love local papers.

http://www.harlowstar.co.uk/News/Harlow-man-cleared-of-assault-by-sausage.html

It's not just the story, which is funny enough in its own right, but they even illustrated it with a picture of a sausage. Just in case we don't know what one looks like. And they don't caption it. So we don't know if it's the banger used in the assault, or 'a sausage, similar to the one used in the assault.'

The best example of lazy picture captioning came last year during the annual flying ants crisis.

http://www.metro.co.uk/news/835511-flying-ants-plague-london

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I've packed one off skiing. Another is spending half term with her mum. And the third is going to Valencia for some concert or other. So me and Mrs Solly have decided to go out to Salamanca for a couple of days. I've managed to book a hotel next to a casino! She thinks we're going for a second honeymoon, but I had to point out that, as I've been married before, our honeymoon was a second honeymoon. For me anyway. She doesn't see the funny side of jokes about my first marriage. Women, eh?

On the plus side, I'm not taking my laptop and I don't have a fancy phone so no more blogs until the end of next week. Hopefully she'll appreciate the sacrifices I make!

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Something strange is happening in the garden of Solly (that's not a euphemism. I mean my garden). Loads of our trees are dying. Cordylines at the front (they're like palm trees, we get a lot of them in Essex) and Acacias in the back (I like the upper case though it may not be completely necessary).

Looking it up online I think the Cordylines are a victim of the snow but not sure about the Acacias. We're going to leave them to see if they recover but if anyone has any advice.

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Hate's a negative emotion and I try not to dislike people who I don't know just because they come across as wazzocks on TV. But the blokes who present The Gadget Show? I'd like to see them do a consumer test on electric chairs. Particularly that geezer with the white hair and dark eyebrows who tries really, really hard to make us all think he's eccentric. It's like the bloke at work who says 'I'm completely mad I am' and wears a tie with Disney characters on to prove it.

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Tickets to the Champions League final this year, which is at Wembley, are going to be around £225-300. I don't think my lot will get there but having seen the prices, I have got this over-riding hope that Arsenal get there and lose.

Hasta la vista...Solly