Thirteen years after deciding that Harry was the perfect name for my son (naturally with a name like Harry Solomons I want him to be a divorce lawyer or a theatrical agent) I see the good taste has rubbed off and it is now the most popular boys' name in Britain for new born babies. And my second choice, Mohammed, is doing well too, I see.
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What have the following got in common? Michael Madsen, Mohammed Al-Fayed, Ricky Hatton, Tinie Tempah, Amy Winehouse, Charlie Sheen and Steve Strange? All never or will never go into the Celebrity Big Brother house. Yet all have been rumoured to have been going in by the Daily Star.
I don't know what Leveson has planned for a revamped PCC but here's an idea. Fine the Daily Star £100,000 for every celebrity they say is going into the CBB house but doesn't. Then give the money out to freelances and agencies whose stories have not got into their paper because they've been forced out by CBB exclusives.
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A new boutique hotel has opened in what used to be Bethnal Green Town Hall and I'm told it's very exclusive and trendy. So much so that it is advertising local culture to those visiting, including a tour of what we used to call graffiti but is now termed as London Street Art. I'm guessing it's not some bloke pointing out 'George Davis Is Innocent' in white paint to bemused Americans.
According to a friend of mine who stayed there, they also recommend a night of 'risque' entertainment at the Bethnal Green Working Man's Club. Bethnal Green clubs appear to have come a long way since the 1940s when my dad and his mates were chased out of one by two young twins called Ronnie and Reggie, for straying the wrong side of the Mile End Road from their Stepney patch.
But it got me thinking that there could be quite a racket in East End culture tours away from the usual Jack the Ripper walks or tours of Jewish London that I once did.
Why not show the tourists where Bob Hoskins made his last great film, The Long Good Friday, including the remains of the lido where a dead body ruined his day?
Or perhaps they could try one of my new East End Experience Trips?
*The Race Hate Experience (aka Hurrah For The Blackshirts) - feel the warm Cockney welcome that generations of Huguenots, Jews, Bangladeshis, Irish and Chinese have been through by getting local old people to spit at you as you walk past. Burning dog poo pushed through your door will cost more.
*The Flying Bottle (and other local pubs) - we'll provide you with some useful local phrases such as 'are you staring at my bird?' and 'did you call my pint a poof?' as you travel on a rollercoaster through broken pool cues, smashed bottles, finishing with being down in the tube station at midnight with a little money and a takeaway curry
*East London Nature Trail - pitbulls, sparrers that can't sing, one eyed cats and rats the size of Mini Metros.
*Foreign customs and habits - our tactful guides will talk you through the new local customs brought in by devout religions to the area such as female circumcision, child brides, East European prostitution trafficking and, of course, aggressive begging introduced by post-war Scottish protestants.
Happy New Year one and all....Solly
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